I am a Monster

Back in late 2008, a new musician came on the scene and everyone raved about her. I kept seeing her name pop up in newspapers and websites, and saw her in outrageous outfits. I remember seeing pictures of her in cold, breezy London wearing barely anything but leotards and thinking the woman was an idiot. I don't often listen to Radio, nor was I often flicking through the music channels and so I had never even heard her music. Oh, and nor did I plan to.

Roll on to March 2009 when I was on my way to a Theme Park with a group of friends. My friend Sara played some of this woman's songs though at the time, I had no idea it was her. I had to admit the songs were catchy - if a little daft - but then I recognised one song. P-p-p-poker Face, P-p-poker Face. I only recognised it because I knew she had a single out and the title was "Poker Face".

I knew then that I was listening to Lady GaGa. Did I know that it was also her singing "LoveGame" and "Boys, Boys, Boys"? No, for some reason it didn't click, but I instantly fell in love with Poker Face and the obsession slowly began to start right in that car.

I can't exactly remember what happened after that. I knew her first single was "Just Dance" and everyone loved that song, so I think I either YouTubed it or saw it on a Music Channel. I then saw passed all the crazy outfits, I saw a performer. I saw an artist. I knew I was hooked when I saw the video for Poker Face, where she sings "And after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart" and she's strutting towards the camera near the pool.
She was confident, she knew how to create attention. It was like she'd been in the music industry for years. She knows what she wants.

I love the beginning of Poker Face; the single beats at first, then the synths, the "m-m-m-muh" and then the main tune. It creates a build up and the way GaGa comes up from the pool, slides down, and then slinks towards the camera before throwing her mask away is just...well, brilliant. I can't really explain it. The way she's all slow while the music is funky. I love how the camera works as well, where GaGa gets all twitchy. It sort of reminds me of Rihanna's "Disturbia" video, because it's like the topic they're about to sing about is twisted, abnormal. Different.

Then she began to dance to the chorus in some sort of Animé superhero inspired outfit. Dancing is totally my thing, so I was even more impressed when I learned she was a dancer too, and a pretty decent one. The girl's got talent, that I couldn't deny.



Though to be honest, I couldn't really quite work out what the song was about, especially the "bluffin' with my muffin'"
I was pretty surprised to learn that it was about thinking of a different gender or person when making love to your partner. See, a lot of songs nowadays are about love or break ups or heartbreak, and GaGa's songs are in the same topic but she writes from a different perspective. She doesn't go all JLS on us ("Let's just get back together, we should have never broke up. You're telling me how my heart won't beat again. We should have stayed together, but when you left me it stopped. You're telling me how my heart won't beat again.")



Lady GaGa: Well I do have a really big donkey dick.

Look at how they all laugh and have faces showing shock. GaGa didn't say it to be controversial (at least, this is the impression I get) but she was just showing how lame those rumours were and was joking with it. I honestly, truly believe that GaGa is an intelligent lady. Everything she does is for a reason.

I read PerezHilton.com everyday and I came across a clip of Lady GaGa singing an acoustic version of Poker Face in Japan. Y'all know the one I'm talking about, she has a massive elephant on her head (not literally.) I had done no research on GaGa and was even MORE impressed that she played piano (which she's been playing since she was four, I'll have you know) and she completely changed the song. It's not my favourite performance of Poker Face but I certainly viewed GaGa in a different way. When I first heard of her I thought she'd be another popstar people would obsess over for a year and then disappear. This video proved to me how versatile she was and how she really was here to stay.



Yet I was reluctant to buy the album. I loved all her singles (except Paparazzi) and months flew by.

And then Bad Romance came out. Again people raved about it so I had to YouTube it. It was definitely the strangest video yet but I absolutely adored it. The monsters hatching from the eggs and doing weird claw like movements, GaGa in a black underwear set with crystal orbs floating around her, the white set where she does the chorus dance, the strange glittery green outfit, and the red latex outfit at the end.
It's all quite weird, it doesn't necessarily make sense but it's one hell of a video. GaGa's performance is just top notch. She's so confident in what she does, she really is truly an artist and I greatly admire her. I don't care what anyone says. And the "Rah, rah, ah-ah-ah, roma, roma ma, GaGa, ooh lala, want your Bad Romance" is probably one of best catch lines I've ever heard.



Ever since this video I searched her a lot more, YouTubed interviews to see what she was like as a person. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that she is a genuinely nice young woman (even offering sweets to the kids on the Paul O'Grady show) and really interesting. I really enjoyed this interview she had with Alex Chung. She talks about Bad Romance and her take on the video, what Bad Romance means plus a lot more.





This is also a really special interview she did with Ellen DeGeneres, as she talks about the fashion she wears, what her past was like and why she wrote "Speechless".



The same with Speechless: everyone was talking about it and I knew I had to listen to it. The first time I heard it was actually on the Royal Variety Performance TV show. My family aren't really a fan of GaGa but I loved how it was her at the piano and just singing. You could really concentrate on how beautiful her voice was and just listen to the lyrics. I won't post the Royal Variety performance video because I think this video is better than that one.
She looks so emotional which just makes her and the song just a whole lot more human.



As soon as I heard that song on the Royal Variety I YouTubed all the songs from "The Fame Monster" and found myself listening to them on repeat and practically everyday.
I don't really know why I resisted buying her album for so long, but I did. Now I have "The Fame" and "The Fame Monster" and I absolutely adore both albums.

Her first album is a lot more poppy with a mix of dance and r'n'b (Just Dance, Poker Face, Nothing Else I can Say, Starstruck, Fame) but her second is a lot darker lyrically and more electronic. I highly recommend both.

Oh, and GaGa is a good person, too. The money that would be made from merchandise and ticket sales would go towards Haiti. In this performance of "Speechless" (which was posted on PerezHilton.com) GaGa announces that "her little monsters" made over half a million dollars for the Haiti Charity. How amazing is that? I also recommend watching the video because of how the audience interacts with the song. (song starts at about 3:00)



Officially proud to say that I have become a GaGa Monster.

MIKA @ The Little Noise Session

A lot of people have been to gigs, right? You're going to see someone famous and it's pretty exciting stuff. You watch the show, you're marvelled (hopefully), and you go home in good spirits.

But if you're a Super Fan, it's kinda different.

The person you're seeing is not just a famous person. They are someone who have helped shape your life for the better because of their music, and because of the opportunities and love - yes, love - they give you.

Some famous people can be such arseholes and, while I'm sure Mika can have his arseholey moments, he certainly isn't to his fans. He's so patient with us and if he has the time, he does have a conversation with you. He's so genuine and endearing, how can you NOT like him? Seriously. Loathe his music if you like, I don't care, but you can't say he's an abolute prick.

So, going to Mika gigs, for me, isn't just about the music. It's about the whole package, and boy does Mika deliver everytime.

After waiting in the cold for several hours (and having met Jimmy for the first time who recognised me because of my scripts and shook my hand), we were let in the Union Chapel with no fuss (they let people in small group by small group, there was no rushing or panicking) and I ended up being 5 rows (pews) from the front and in the centre. Jackpot. I had a lovely view.





The first act was Daisy Dares You and barely 16. I quite liked her, she seemed really sweet. The act after was a Robert Pattinson look-a-like named Alex Gardner. His music was good but acoustically, it did sound a bit samey.





Jo Whiley announced that Paloma Faith had pulled out because she lost her voice. I was a bit gutted to be honest, because I've never heard her stuff but was told that she was good live, so I was looking forward to her. But there's always a silver lining in every bad news you hear: MIKA would be performing an extra long set! BONUS.

Mika and The King's Singers came on (they're a group 6 men who sing acapella) and they started off with Grace Kelly - a great way to warm the audience up! It was fun and upbeat, new and different. You could see that Mika was really concentrating and really trying to take control of what was happening on stage, almost acting like a conductor.
Mika was also quite happy to talk to the audience about things and was definitely in fine spirits, laughing and joking away with the odd swear word here and there (and in a Chapel too, I say, Mika!)
It was a fantastic gig with a fantastic atmosphere, and I have to say that Mika needs to do seated gigs more often. The vibe is better and there's far less hassle.

The songs that got me the most were Over My Shoulder, By The Time, Rain and We Are Golden.

Over My Shoulder was sheer perfection, the notes were spot on and crystal clear. It was his best performance of that song ever, and the best thing about it? Everyone shut up and listened. I mean, I know I don't often contain myself vocally when it comes to gigs, but when it's a song like that you don't join in. It's kind of like an unwritten rule.
As for By The Time, it was practically acapella all the way through and it was the first time anyone had heard it live. It's not my favourite song on the CD (though I do love it) but live...it was stunning. I think I would preferred female vocals, but maybe I'm just used to Imogen Heap. ANYWAY, the song was a complete surprise and it was beautiful. There are not enough superlatives. I think it's my favourite performance from the night.
What I liked about Rain was that it started off as a ballad, but about halfway through there was a beat behind it that funked it up slightly, yet still making the song mellow and it sounded really...organic. There was energy: Not too much, but enough to get into it.
I love We Are Golden. Full stop. I love it live because it's like everyone's sticking by each other whilst shouting "WE ARE NOT WHAT YOU THINK WE ARE, WE ARE GOLDEN! WE ARE GOLDEN!" It was a more mellow version, but I think it's still powerful enough to be empowered by it, personally.



Mika was so well received at The Little Noise Session, there's so much love for the guy. Seriously! I've been a supporter since the beginning and I've seen his career rocket, and will probably (hopefully) continue to do so. He has so much extraordinary talent and if people don't recognise that, then they're missing out. He has a lot of charm and wit, friendly yet cheeky, and a musical genius. There's no doubt about it.

I describe Mika like a Jewellery Box. It has all sorts of compartments filled with different types of Jewellery and colours. You're always surprised at what you find and you're always marvelled at how it glitters and shines. (That wasn't intended to kind of rhyme, by the way). Every box you open, there's something new and different.
Basically, Mika has many tricks up his sleeves and - like the great Wizard he is - has us all under a spell. He has us on a string and he's the master puppeteer, he knows what strings to pull to get us going. He is a Master. There's no question about it.

The thing about meet and greets is that they could be so much nicer. There was a small group of people on either side of the door, and there was a large space in between us so that, when Mika was outside - he'd have enough room.
But no, as soon as Mika comes out people crowd him. WHY? If you were sensible, Mika would come round to you, but if you're gonna hassle him it's gonna make things difficult, isn't it. Honestly! People don't make things better for themselves.

I managed to give him the Astroboy poster and he seemed genuinely pleased with it! However he couldn't roll it back up so I did it for him while he was signing things, but because people mobbed him it was difficult to get the poster back to him so I had to follow him all the way round just so I could hand back his present. Seriously, he was almost halfway in the car when he got it back.

But the job was done and the night was brilliant. Here are my vlogs which capture the atmosphere of the day, plus snippets of the gig AND the meet and greet and the end. Enjoy.













Check out Mika getting my gift at 6:40. It's an awesome reaction.